Monday, November 2, 2015

Life as it is...



The calendar in my kitchen still reads "September." I never got around to turning the page to "October."

The trash container is still sitting by our garage. We forgot to drag it down to the end of the driveway last night and missed our trash pick up this morning.

I haven't touched this blog in almost a month... I think because I don't want to face my reality.

It's another glorious fall day outside. My husband is out chasing a monster buck and the kids are in school. It's just me in a quiet house contemplating life.

I can't figure out if I'm still sick or depressed or just unmotivated. There are a million things to do but I seem to lack the motivation to move. Truth be told, except for going to the grocery store today, nothing absolutely has to be done and perhaps that is why I'm lacking movement now.

Stuff that should or I'd like to be done...
Load up stuff that's been sitting in my living room for 2 months to go to Goodwill.
Get my run in.
Figure out dinner.
Clean the freakin' house! Again!
Finish organizing my photos.

Running had been going well for a couple weeks. I ran 14 miles for the heck of it 13 days ago. I had been trying to get a double digit run in at least once a week and that particular day it was beautiful out and my daughter had a 5 hour dance class so I had time to kill. A friend also talked me into doing a 14 mile trail race on November 7th so I figured it would be good to get some miles in. It was a beautiful run. Pretty effortless except for the fact that it was still hot and they had turned all the water fountains off on the paved trail I was running so I had no water. I got sick the next day.

I ran yesterday for the first time since then. 3 miles. I didn't feel like it but made myself do it. I worked an overnight shift on Halloween. Twelve hours that stretched to thirteen due to the time change. Got home and couldn't find my cell phone that I thought I put in my pocket. Called the hospital and it wasn't there. I needed it because my husband was leaving town and I had to coordinate activities with the kids all day. I was getting ready to drive back to the gas station I had stopped at, and then back to the hospital parking lot when I checked my car again for the tenth time and found it between the driver's seat and cupholder thingy where it had slid out of my pocket. That ate up an hour of sleep time. I got 2 hours of zzz's before it was time to run kids around. Got my daughter to her dance rehearsal and hit the trail - overdressed for the weather. Yup, pretty awful run.

I've been going to the YMCA after my runs to shower and change. That way I don't have to sit around in sweaty clothes waiting on my daughter to finish dancing. I haven't swam since July. I look at the pool every time I go in, thinking I need to get back in. But when? My Y membership has turned into an expensive shower option.

I was sick last weekend but I went to a scrapbooking weekend anyway. It ended up being a very productive weekend. I got two scrapbooks almost done. That's how these weekends go... I always almost get everything done. It's always the loose ends I need to tie up at home that never get done. This time I wanted stickers of white Easter lilies to finish a page and I needed to print out a couple more pictures from a show in April and a couple more Cheer pictures of my older daughter to get her book done. Being the couponer that I am, I am positive Shutterfly is going to run 101 free prints in the next couple days (as is typical after Halloween) so I held off getting the last couple photos printed... and with this comes the risk of never getting these albums done...

The silver lining in my scrapbook weekend is that I started getting photos together and I found 2014. I had had all my 2014 photos on an SD card... and I "lost" the card. I mean, I knew the card had to be somewhere, I just couldn't find it in my pit of a house. While getting things together for my weekend, I found the SD card. Hallelujah!! Now I'm in the process of backing everything up... and I just can't seem to FINISH it.

So all the things I've rambled about. They are luxuries. I don't have to run. I don't have to scrapbook. I don't have to take photos. I don't have to have a clean house. Life can and will go on without them. This is my day off. My house is paid for. We have water. I could just sleep all day if I wanted to except that I have a sense of dissatisfaction with the way things are... and I need the motivation to MOVE.

So that's where it comes back to blogging. This started out as my accountability blog. Putting it all out there in black and white makes me accountable. So here it is...

Today I will: get groceries, run, load my car up for Goodwill, and download the pool schedule from the Y. That's my start. I'll check in with the good, the bad, and the ugly tomorrow.

5 comments:

  1. With the hectic life you live - it is good to see that you are getting a bit of down time for yourself. You deserve it!

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  2. Come to the dark side for a day! Be lazy, it's fun...if you leave the guilt behind.

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  3. It's still a full day! :)

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  4. Hoping you can take some time to rest and relax without guilt. Hard for women to do....I enjoyed reading the blog. Take care,
    Jackie

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  5. Recharge when you need. I know your couch won't suck you in for long.
    Let me know if you don't get Goodwill done. I'll swing by this weekend and load it up - there's something disproportionally satisfying about that for me.

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